Our Journey of Faith

I am on an email group for parents of children of neuroblastoma - the same cancer that Maggie had.  While communicating with one mother about other things to give our children to help (vitamins etc) this mom said that she read part of our Caringbridge journal and was challenged by our journey of faith.  To inspire another mom of a child going thru the same battle is incredibly humbling and I know it is from God.  I was in tears to realize that even months after I stopped updating that journal that someone would read it and see God in the midst of it.

If you never saw our Caringbridge - here you go:  www.caringbridge.org/visit/maggiejernas

My writing is measly but God is powerful and I know that anything I do is made beautiful only because of Him.

God challenged me a long time ago to write a book about our faith journey.  I was scared.  Still am. And put it off.  Who am I to write such a book?  I am just a woman.  I am not anyone who anyone wants to hear from.  I am no Beth Moore, no Francis Chan, no...

But, every so often God reminds me of this that He has asked me to do.  Today was another humbling reminder of what God has asked me to do.  You see, when it keeps coming back up I know that it has to be from God.

I have allowed myself to get busy working on different projects - things to keep me from working on this book as I am scared.  Scared poopless.  For, oh, so many reasons.

You see, I don't want to write a book just for families impacted by cancer because I think that the issue of faith is something that each of us face in one way or another.

I haven't posted about this on here b/c of fear (again).  Fear that people would think of me wrong, not get it, that I would fail....

But this email has convinced me that this is what God wants and I don't want to refuse (Josh wilson song).  I tried to cut and paste so you could see.  :)

"Has anyone out there tried anything in conjunction with the chemo for their children? 

>> 
>> Such as milk thistle extract or Alpha Lipoic Acid or L-Cysteine supplements? What about zinc to help with the Cisplatin toxicity effects?
>> 
>> Also, what are your thoughts on Antioxidant rich diets and juices during chemo (Acai berry) and high omega-3's?
>> >> Anything...?

After round 4, Maggie had horrible mouth sores. She was put on Morphine and almost over dosed - I guess because of not metabolizing it well. 
> Anyway, our local oncologist told us to get Glutamine. He figured out dosage and we gave it to her during round6 and stem cell transplants for as long as she was willing to drink. It is a powdered substance that you mix in drinks. Body builders use it and you can find it at GNC. Supposedly it helps layer the throat. 
> While she did have mouth sores they were nothing compared to round 4 and she recovered much faster.

Rachel,

I just spent some time in Maggie's journal, and read what you wrote about God loving her more than his own son. Your faith and strength inspire me as I travel this journey with my child. I am going to spend more time today reading your journal of faith, hope, and love for your child and pray that God will speak to me further through it.

Thank you for sharing about the Glutamine. If you think of the dose for Maggie's weight/age at the time, please let me know. 

Thank you so much!

Jessica 

So I write all of this so that you may all keep me accountable to following thru.  Do you find it ironic AT ALL that I am afraid to write a book on fear.  ANYONE?  God is so ironic, UGH!

So, go ahead and tell me I am crazy!