Tuesday, October 26, 2010


Last night I got out before dark and started pruning some bushes.  We have a Rose of Sharon bush that I transplanted from Rod's grandparents house and (what I call) a snowball bush that my parents gave us when Jared was born.  Last fall was crazy so pruning never even reached the to-do list.  They grew like crazy and were very pretty - flowering like crazy - but one in particular was out of control.  Rod referred to it as the jungle.

So I got out and started pruning.  I got thinking about if the bush was glad to get the pruning or if it was hurting from being pruned.  I determined that it will have the winter to recovery and became really excited about what it will look like next spring/summer.    As I kept hacking away at the snowball bush I thought about how God prunes us sometimes.  I thought about how the process of pruning can hurt and yet other times it can feel good to get rid of the stuff that keeps us from being who God wants us to be

I was thinking about some of my clients that I use to counsel.  I remember working with one girl in particular.  She had been abused for someting like 9 years and was just starting to address the issues that arose because of that. She said how much she just wished that she could be healed.  I told her that sometimes uses the process for a reason.  God could very well just "snap his fingers" and "prune" us but He uses the process to help mold us into the person he wants us to be.

So heres to getting the most out of the process.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Life keeps moving on. :)

This afternoon Maggie will get half of her immunizations - either 3 or 4.  These are the ones that a newborn would get.  She will get the other half in a couple of days.  Then in 2 months she'll get another group and so on and so on......  I told her about it and she seemed fine.  But that was around lunch time.  We'll see when we get closer to the apt.  Oh, and the rest of us have been told (by her oncologist) to get the flu shot.  Luckily, they have been able to combine the flu shot and the H1N1!

So, since this apt is right before supper time....crock pot to the rescue! :)  I am making one of the fam's favorites and oh so easy!  Cut up potatoes, cut up smoked sausage, and 2 or 3 cans of green beans.  LOVE IT! 

I was doing my Beth Moore study on Esther.  She writes that "Satan's most effective tactic with yours truly has been to trap me in mental torment".  Yes we are to take our thoughts captive and to think on positive things.  How true, that when we don't do that, we become captive to those negative thoughts. 

So, Maggie continues her journey to normal life.  On a side note, she didn't get to go to Library Story hour because she has been pretty disrespectful and disobedient.  I would have kept her home from church last night but I don't like to use church as a consequence.  Oh AND I finally got her to take a nap.  Hopefully that will help us all! :)

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


So, I love the crockpot.  I have found that I can use the crockpot and save time and money.  I used it yesterday for a new recipe with chicken and white beans.  It was really good.  I got to use items from my stockpile even!  Yes, I am one of those crazy women who buys multiples of items when they are at a really low price - especially of items we use often.  Rod at times makes fun of me....but I think there is a huge part of him that truly appreciates it.  I love the stress free time of 4 o'clock when I use the crock pot cause my meal is already done! :)

I got info that Maggie will be getting all of her vaccinations again.  She is one year (plus a little) so her immune system is hopefully ready to get these immunizations.  She is going to have to get 7 (one is the flu shot)  I haven't told her yet.  I think that we are going to split them up - 3 one time and 4 another.  Then more in another 2 months.  and then more in another.......  Yep just like a baby.  Poor girl. 

I want to say thanks to Erica for being willing to share with my last post - Erica you comment meant tons to me :).  I guess I was hoping for more responses.  Honestly that was a little discouraging.

Just got my first email about Black Friday and what the sales will be.  Hopefully I will get some good ideas for the kids.  Everytime Mags goes to clinic she gets more princess stuff.  I feel like that there can't possibly be anything else made for princesses.  We'll have to see what I can come up

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Friendships of Women

My mom gave the book a while ago.  Maybe I should read it. Because I think that I am clueless.

I recently read Lisa Whelchel's book "Friendships for Grownups" (yes, Blair from Facts of Life) about how she has struggled with friendships and, in many ways, I could so relate with her story.  Obviously I did not grown up on tv, but I had life situations that held me back from learning about friendships.   For ex:  I am great about talking to new people etc.  but when I see women who already have friends and their own little "clique" I know I am not a part.  I perceive (whether correctly or not) that those women are not looking for new friendships.  Friendships are almost harder for me since Maggie's illness.  People think that they know me from reading the Caringbridge....and that is just a small glimpse of me and often times it is/was the me I wanted to be.  I think people find me intimidating because I am such a "say what I mean, mean what I say" person.  I find it hard to hide what I feel.  I am constantly working on it and am still a work in progress. 

But then I hear almost every other woman say similar things about "wanting women friends" and "being lonely" etc etc.  Yesterday, in the Esther study by Beth Moore, Beth talks about women wanting friendships and yet feeling so alone and that it is one of the hardest things about being a woman.  Do you agree?

So I am trying to figure out why friendships among women are so difficult if we all want them so badly?  Why do we make it so difficult?  We all want to have people to share with but are all so scared to stick out our necks for fear of rejection?  If only we could remember all of the women who feel the exact same way?  I need to remember if I "stick my neck out" and am rejected then that woman is not worthy of my friendship anyway, right?  Seems so simple....

I am trying to get a handle on this friendship thing and, honestly, it really bugs me sometimes.  All right, it more than bugs me and a lot more that sometimes.

So what do you do about friendships with other women?  Seriously.  What do you do?  How do you handle those times when you feel lonely?  What do you do when you perceive that everyone else has met their quota of friendships and doesn't need your friendship?  How do you know when other women would like your friendship?  What do you do when you feel left out?  Cause I think, if we were all brutally honest with ourselves and each other - we've all been there....more times than we'd like to share.  But life is about doing it together.  So, what do you do?

Monday, October 11, 2010

Today was just what I needed. 

I ran to get Maggie today and found that my favorite cheap place to get pumpkins was up and running.   I can get decent sized pumpkins for $2!!  I picked out 2, paid and went to pick up Mags.  The kids were so excited.  So after we ate supper, we went to the picnic table to make our "jack-o-lanterns".  Maggie was not too thrilled with touching the "gunk" inside.  Finally, she did it. I will try to post pics maybe tomorrow, but we all had so much fun.  I think that my pumpkin that I carved turned out pretty good.  Then we carried them and put them out at the front door.  Then I told the kids that we should make a pile of leaves. What joy to watch them jump into pile.  Jared would take about a 10 yard running start.  So funny. Then the kids went off to play with the dogs across the street.  I am not sure who got worn out more the dogs or Jared.  :)  Gave the kids  showers and then put them to bed.  Then I got to color my hair! :)  In between I got to watch the end of a chick flick!  Now,  I have been seeing more and more greys in my hair.  I have totally earned each and every one of them and I believe that I have totally earned the right to color them! :)

I have been feeling really discouraged and today was just what I needed.  My sleep deprivation continues so that doesn't help at all.  But there is something completely joyful in seeing bliss in my childrens eyes.  It helped to just be able to laugh as a family and remember what is truly important and that this little issue (that has been bugging me) is not really all that important.  God really knew what I needed at just the right time.  I am not really all that surprised by that  as He has shown himself in the past.

I am totally loving the fact that I made out a list of possible meals to make.  It has made things so much easier!!  I found  a huge list of crock pot recipes - I'll try to post about those sometime.

Thursday, October 7, 2010


So I go to take my shower this morning and Rod warns me that it will probably have to be fast as he took a really hot long shower.  After jabs going back and forth between us :) (admittedly, I do the same to him)  I took my shower.  It seemed like every 30 seconds or so I kept turning the heat up until, well, it was as far as it would go.  Obviously it was time to move very quickly and get done and outta there.  When I realized that I was then taking a lukewarm shower, I was reminded about what the Bible says about being Lukewarm and the book, Crazy Love by Francis Chan.

In Revelations, God says that if we are lukewarm He is going to spit us out.  Chan takes that to mean that if we are lukewarm that we are not true Christians.  And after the conviction of that and how Chan explained it, I agree with him.  Lukewarm water is so frustrating - it can be so deceptive.  Sometimes it feels warmer in spots and just when you start to get comfy it feels cold again.  Do you think that is why God doesn't like lukewarm - because it makes us more confused by the deception?  I am working on staying on fire.  What do you do to stay on fire?

So, Rod is working late again tonite and so I think that the kids and I might make caramel apples!  I got some caramel specifically for making caramel apples at Pinehill.  For you local people, if you don't use Pinehill, you don't know what you are missing!  It is an Amish run store - I actually am friends with the owner, Mary.  Mary buys salvaged items or items that are seasonal.  For ex:  In March one year I bought salsa that had Superbowl advertising all over it.  It was still good and within date but was pulled off the shelf b/c it was past the superbowl and was only $1 (maybe less).  Anyway, great prices on stuff.  If you want more info let me know.  People drive from like an hour radius just to come to this tiny Amish run store! :)

So, caramel apples and being lukewarm.  I think I might need a nap today. Jared had a bad dream and came into bed with us - meaning me.  He only stayed a couple of minutes but it took me 3 hours to get back to sleep.  (Rod says he slept bad - do you think that it was b/c I poked him to make him stop snoring?)  I love that my kids come to me to feel safe, but wish we could relegate the timing of it.  Nap might need to wait as I need to run to the store and get milk....oh and might stop and get hair color.  I am getting a streak of grey!  If you are doing the Esther study by Beth Moore, like I am,  I am not feeling convicted about the vanity of that.  Just so you know! : P

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Not feeling the best

So, for the last couple of weeks I have been struggling.  I have never been a fabulous sleeper.  So when you combine that with the sleep deprivation of the past however many months and now that is catching up with me.  I also have incredible feet problems - long story short - I have flat feet and spending any length of time on my feet puts me in excruciating pain.  I am actually going to get orthodic shoe inserts.  Feel like an old women just writing that.  But sometimes I just want to cry b/c of how tired I am and other times because of how bad my feet are killing me.  I am hoping that the orthotics and their ugliness will be worth it.  (altho the foot doc said that there is a good shoe store at the outlet mall for wearing with orthotics.

I write that because I feel like Satan is attacking me thru my body.  I feel my energy and zeal is being zapped.  I guess, I am glad that I realize this now so that I can stop it from happening.  I must get myself back in gear and take care of myself so that I don't fall apart physically or spiritually.  I find that our physical selves will so impact our spiritual sides.  I need to be proactive in taking care of both aspects so that I stay at my best for my God and my family. :)

On a side note, I wrote last time about making a menu out of my food pantry.  I came up with about 20 meals.  Now, I didn't assign them to a specific date but, for me, just having that list is liberating.  I know what I can fix quick and easy!  There are only a few things that I need to complete each meal.  However,  I did realize that there are some great sales happening.

Rentown is having boneless chicken breasts on sale for $1.49/lb!  Also, they have flour on sale which is really great for this time of year with getting ready for the holidays!

For those interested, I think I am going to have to give Maggie a trim of her bangs tonite! :)  She and I are very excited about that!

So, how is Satan attacking you and what are you going to do about it?