Sometimes you get in a rut. Sometimes it takes awhile to feel that you are in a rut.
I get up. Read my Bible. Get the kids ready for school. Get Hubby out the door (after packing his lunch). Do some things around the house. Pick Maggie up from Kindergarten. Do some things around the house. Greet Jared when he gets home from school. Make supper. Do some family things. Put kids to bed. Hang out with Hubby - usually watching some T.V. and then we go to bed.
Then I do it all over again.
It isn't that my rut is bad. I mean, I get the clothes clean, I fix some good meals, the house is mostly clean. But somewhere deep inside I know that it isn't all that God has wanted for me. It is only the start. It is a very important start but there is more.
I know it.
I love being a mom. I love being a wife. But there is something about working out of the home that I do miss. The interaction with people. Knowing that I am using my gifts and talents to make a difference in people's lives. Knowing that others appreciate me for more than doing laundry and keeping a decently clean house (ok - some days that is pushing it).
For Christmas, Rod ordered our Caringbridge site printed in book form. The Caringbridge is the site of our journal that we (mainly me) kept during our daughter's battle with cancer. I discontinued the journal about the time that Maggie was declared cancer-free for one year.
The Caringbridge book is HUGE. It is actually TWO, yes 2, books! Both are about the size of a college text book. One book is my journal - all that I wrote plus the pictures that were on the site. It also includes some of the guestbook. The second one is all of the rest of the guestbook - all of the encouraging messages that were sent for us.
These books are my reminder that I am to live BIG.
Last night at a Bible study on some of the women of the Bible, we discussed Mary of Bethany. You know the one...the sister of Martha. Mary was also the one that poured the perfume from her alabaster jar on Jesus. Some that were there started to scoff at her. But Jesus reprimanded them saying that "She did what she could".
Sometimes doing what you can just means calling someone going thru a rough time to check on them or sending a card. Maybe it means giving a quarter pounder to the person on the corner with the sign that says "will work for food". Maybe it is becoming a foster parent to hurting children.
Are you doing what you can? I'm tired of living in my rut and God is starting to show me what direction he wants me to go and that is exciting to see!
It is ok to be in a rut for a small season of time, but then one must put one foot in front of the other and move forward. You will do fine, just listen to your heart, and to God and the rest will happen.
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