Part of living with BIG FAITH in order to have a BIG LIFE may mean not being liked by my children. I don't like that but God doesn't require us to like things either. We are required to obey.
Well, Jared, whom I LOVE to death, and can be the sweetest, most caring and smartest kid ever put in first grade, has been having a major attitude lately. It is making our mornings miserable. When confronted with about this attitude, he will spew more attitude and then eventually become very contrite and then refuses to go to school. We usually get things turned around in time for him to make the bus. But it breaks my heart. I know that he is still tired from all of the Christmas festivities, but it still not acceptable for him to behave like this. Somehow, he needs to understand this. The therapist in me talks to him about thinking about what he says before he says it. I talk to him about how he is "marvelously made" and we read Psalm 139 together. We talk about how I love him more than anyone besides Jesus (It has become a "joke" in our family who loves the kids more - Daddy or Mommy). Yet the attitude continues.
So, I took all of his Legos. These are probably his most cherished possessions - he likes to get up early each morning so that he has time to build something before school. He totally loses himself in those Legos. I love how absolutely creative he is with those things. He can follow the "directions" to build whatever, but he loves to create his own things even more. He'll come and proudly show us what each part of his creation is. Jared LOVES his Legos.
However, as his parents, it is our job to teach him and show him how to make good decisions and when he makes bad choices that there negative consequences. I get concerned that, many times, we as parents allow disrespectful attitudes in our children to flourish instead of quenching them.
So the Legos have left his room. There will be tears at about 3:45 this afternoon when he realizes that they are gone. But when he realizes that he can earn them back he will begin to calm down because he knows that his attitude has not been "acceptable".
I love my son too much to let him stay this way. Reminds me (in a wee way) of how much God loves us and won't let us stay the way we are. That reminds me that I have some big attitudes to work on myself.
nice. will start praying now :)
ReplyDeleteRachel,
ReplyDeleteNathan started having an attitude in the first grade, as well. I think it is all part of growing up. We also take Legos and other cherished posessions away as a consequence. He is in 3rd grade now and though the attitude can be even worse, he also knows to quickly get it under control.
Love your openness! Your words are often a blessing to me. Erica S.