Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Getting away.

Have you been wondering where I disappeared to?  :)

This past weekend was my birthday and Rod surprised me and planned a night away.  He reserved the room and took care of what was going on with the kids and everything.  I think that last part was the best part - Rod planning what was happening with the kids.  I just had to pack my bag and the kids' bag.  Not bad, huh?

We generally are good about taking little escapes without the kids.  I strongly believe that the marriage is THE most important relationship in the home (outside of the relationship with Jesus) and that our children need to see that.  I think that today's children are being told that they are more important than the relationship between the husband and wife from whose relationship that child came from.  Ahhhh, but I digress, now don't I?  ;)

Right before Maggie was diagnosed with cancer, Rod and I had taken a big getaway and we hadn't taken one since.  I can tell you the dates of Maggie's diagnosis, surgery, and 1st stem cell transplant but I don't remember the dates of our vacation - strange, huh?  Anyway, there is this odd piece of me that is almost scared to go away for any real length of time to any place far away for fear of something happening again.  I know that it is foolish but it is honest.

Another reason dates and getaways are important is that it makes you concentrate on each other, not the kids or a dirty house or projects that need to be finished around the house or anything like that.  I find that crucial.  Even in the midst of the craziness of Maggie's treatments, Rod and I found time for dates - time with just each other to reconnect and I believe that not only did it "save" our marriage but strengthened it as well.

I know from ....well, lots of places that the best thing you can do for your child(ren) is to give them a stable and strong marriage to grow up around so that they can feel safe.  As parents we need to take care of our marriage before our children and often we get that mixed up.  (This is one of my soapbox issues.) Our kids love to see us kiss and hug and just hold each other.  Jared and Maggie often smile so big when they catch us kiss.

Yesterday, Rod and I had a "discussion" - you know one where voices were a little louder and the tone was a little more pointed.  Jared came out and interrupted us and told us that we shouldn't fight.  We quickly explained that we weren't fighting and that we were fine.  To be brutally honest, I am not sure that at THAT precise moment we were "fine" but it ended fine.  We both were right and wrong at the same time.

This is my Jared - he is probably smarter in many ways than Rod and I put together.  Jared has a huge heart and hates knowing that anyone is hurt in any way - especially if he caused that hurt.  Isn't he so handsome?

This was our first overnight without the kids in about 2 years.  It was very relaxing and now I think I am ready for a longer one. :)

How do you put your marriage before your children?

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