I think that God was laughing at me!

Today I was working on baking for Thanksgiving.  My mom came and hung out with Maggie and me and I should have gotten more down than I did.  My mom took my kids home with her cause she misses them and wants to go nuts while she is preparing to have US over tomorrow for lunch! :)

ANYWAY.....

I am making this pumpkin cake and I need to use the same pan multiple times to bake.  So I put one pan in and go get ready to meet Rod for supper.  I figured that by the time I am ready to go the pan should be done.  I go get ready and LEAVE.  NO, I didn't take the cake out.  TOTALLY FORGOT.

So I meet Rod, we get our food, we are eating.  Then it hits me "I forgot the cake".  Now by this time, the cake has been in the oven for 25 minutes too long.  I run to the car and drive not as fast as I would like to - due to semis and horse trailers and this stupid rain - all of the way home.  I am literally looking over the horizon for smoke coming from the direction of my home.  I drive about 40 mph in my subdivision trying to get to my drive faster.  The whole way home I had prayed and pleaded with God that my house not be damaged - almost to the point of tears.

I pull in  and don't even bother putting my inlaws car into the garage (we have there vehicle b/c I hit a stupid deer one week ago tonite and my van is at the shop) and it is still sitting there.  I look thru the window and do not see smoke.

I open my door and there is no smoke.  I open the oven and pull out the smokeless pumpkin cake and it is done just right.

I call Rod and tell him that everything is ok.  I told him that I wonder if our fancy schmancy oven has an automatic turn off when the timer doesn't get turned off because the oven didn't even seem that hot?  (We had to get this oven b/c we put our oven in our island and it had to be "flat" like our island.  Most ovens have the back that goes up - ours is flat.  So it has a bunch of stuff in it that I don't know how to use and maybe - ok probably most likely - don't even know that it has.)

So do you think that while I was driving following that stupid semi in the rain praying and pleading with God for my house not to be too damaged that He was actually laughing at me?  Do you think that he was hootin' and hollerin' knowing that my oven would turn off on it's own? Somehow, I do.  Wish I could hear it now. :)

I think that sometimes we humans, in our humanity and frailties, are really pretty stinkin' funny.  I think that God has a great sense of humor.  I know that I am pretty hilarious without even trying.  Just ask Rod.  Sometimes we get so worked up over something that God in His Wisdom and Sovereignty has already taken care of.

So,  when has God laughed at you lately?  I shared my embarrassing tale - your turn! :)

By the way this pumpkin cake is going to be FAB!!! :)

Scanxiety

It is a made up word that so describes it all.

Two weeks from today I take Maggie in for her next scan.

The further out from treatment she gets the more nervous I become.  While in treatment, there was something in her body fighting off that cancer.  Sometimes there is even some residual fighting even after the treatments have stopped.  In about 3 weeks, she will have been off all treatment for one year.  That is exciting and scary all at once.  I read every day about children with that nasty neuroblastoma relapsing and docs don't know how to treat it because they threw everything at it to get rid of it the first time.

However, even tho my anxiety is there, I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that NO MATTER WHAT happens....it WILL be ok.  I may not like it, but it will be ok.  God never promised that we will like it all, now did He? :)

Maggie is playing and singing and laughing and dancing.  I look at her and KNOW what God can do.  I also know that nothing can happen that He isn't already in the midst of and because of that it WILL be ok.

Giving Thanks TO

I've been struck by so many people wanting to be thankful each day this time of year.

While I am totally in favor of giving thanks, giving thanks implies that you are thankful TO someone.  I think that we forget that too often.  We will say "I am thankful for "XYZ" and we don't even think of saying who we are giving thanks to.  Remember that there is always Someone to give thanks to.

So here are some things that I am thankful for and to whom

1.  I am thankful to my Lord and my husband for our home.
2.  I am thankful to my Lord for my family.
3.  I am thankful to my husband for making me laugh - sometimes on purpose and sometimes not. :)
4.  I am thankful to my children for their sweet ways of looking at life and how everything can be fixed with a bandaid.
5.  I am thankful to my Lord for not only protecting my marriage but also making it even stronger during a battle that many marriages do not survive.
6.  I am thankful to my mother for helping me learn to cook.
7.  I am thankful to my grandmother who taught me not to be afraid to sing to children in the car.
8.  I am thankful to my father for teaching me it is ok to be an adult and to be silly.
9.  I am thankful to my parents who taught me what it means and looks like to love and serve God.
10.  I am thankful to my Lord that my daughter is healthy.  Altho, I still look to see if she is pale..............
11.  I am thankful to my Lord for showing me that He still wants to use me in spite of all of my failings.
12.  I am thankful to my Rod for loving me thru my tears.
13.  I am thankful to my Lord for creating chocolate.  :)

Just remember to WHOM you are thankful! :)

The World

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father^[d] is not in them.  I John 2:15

There are some things that I really love about the world.  Cinnabon (McDonald's Cinnamon Melts are not bad),  good chocolate, I have a newly acquired love of Dansko shoes.  I love my dishwasher.  I love good movies and good books.  Oh and I love Diet Coke and I HATE coffee! :) 

The question is what makes me different from the rest of the world.  I've been thinking about this a lot lately.  I feel like many of us Christians have compromised and not only do we live in this world but we are of this world.  You did read that I wrote "we", right?

I live in an Amish community.  Their black/dark clothing with black hats or bonnets make them stand out.  You know they are Amish from a couple hundred feet away.  The horse and buggy is a dead give-away too tho.

But is there something about me that shows that I am God's - that I am set apart?

I kinda feel that we as Christians get as close to that proverbial electric fence as we can without getting too zapped.  Some of us have even convinced ourselves that the zapping feels "good". 

I am not sure who said this (I've heard Einstein?):  Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  I think that is what the Christian world is doing.  We do almost the exact same things that the world is doing and we expect different results just because we have the label "Christian". 

One area I feel really convicted about in our family is how we parent our children.  We complain about how the younger generations are falling away from God and yet we raise our children in the exact same way as the world and maybe go to church when our other activities don't supersede them.

So what do you do that makes you different from the "world"? 

Good deal on Toy Story 3 and group

Ok, first of all, I'd like to give more into on what I imagine with this group thing.   I picture getting together once or twice a month (maybe after kiddos are in bed).  I don't want it to be a structured time so that means no Bible Study (I don't want another "to do" added to my list.  I want it to be Christian women who discuss their lives in a inspirational environment where we encourage, challenge and laugh with each other.  So again, let me know if you are interested my email.


Toy Story 3 deal:  This is a fab deal! :)  At CVS if you buy $25 on the P&G items listed on the front page of the add you can get the TS3 dvd for $3.99!  So, I used coupons that I had on Tide laundry detergent, Bounty paper towels, Puffs tissues as well as a CVS coupon for $5 off of $25 and got a great deal.  These are items that we generally need anyway.  I'm saving the video as a Christmas present.  Oh, and it is a REALLY good movie! :)

All right, have fun getting a great deal and let me know if you are interested in the group. :)

Deals

So, I like to go shopping after Halloween.  What do I like to shop for?  Nope, not candy.  I mean, sure, I'd love to have candy around but I really shouldn't.  I'm still looking at all of this excess weight that I gained during Maggie's battle and yep, it ain't goin anywhere - so I definitely don't want to make it any bigger! :)  No, I buy the prepackaged stuff like raisins and cookies etc.  The other day while out I bought 2 bags of individual size boxes of raisins!  Today at CVS, I bought 2 bags of individually packaged bags of pretzels for 3 dollars!  These go great in Jared's lunches or as snacks on the go and the kids feel like it is a real treat.   I would have loved to have grabbed some costumes but I am still not willing to pay the 1/2 price on those costumes!

So here is where I am not really saving money.  I was told that I should get orthopedic inserts b/c of the pain I experience in my shoes.  Well, I am bypassing that to buy some shoes that help my feet without the inserts.  These shoes are pretty expensive, but we figure if I can go without limping and wincing in pain then they might be worth it. Hopefully these shoes will help me to not need surgery down the road.  I figured tho that if I bought the inserts I would probably have to buy new shoes to fit my feet with the inserts anyway......  So right now, I have a pair of "tennis shoes" whatever you want to call them.  They are great.  NO pain.  I also have a pair of Adidas sandals that I wear only around the house.  Again - they are great.  However, I am not generally a tennis shoe type of person.  And they wouldn't "go" with what I wear to church.  Lately church has been my biggest source of foot pain as that is when I want to wear my heals with the pointy toe and within 10 feet of walking I want to cry in pain.  Or I can wear my sandals and well, ummm, it is just too cold for sandals for me.   So I found a pair of shoes that I hoped would work but when I showed them to Rod, he reminded me that this style wouldn't work.   So tomorrow, I get to go shopping and spend lots of money on just one pair of shoes.

Ok, so I would really love to form like a women's group of some sort.  Just a walk thru life together as women who are trying to follow Jesus the best we can kind of a group.  I am looking for women who want to be real and authentic, who want to be challenged and are not afraid of challenging other women and who like good deserts.  :)  I can bake pretty good, I promise.  (hence my weight issue)  Please email me at my email if you are interested. 

Normalcy

The kids had great fun with trick or treating.  Maggie was Cinderella (again) and Jared was a cowboy.  I even used my eyeliner to put a mustache on Jared and my lipgloss on Maggie!  And Rod didn't even care!  I think that doing Trick or Treating on Saturday night meant less trick or treaters and less homes to trick or treat AT.  Oh, well - less candy. I guess that is better for my waist line - or what used to be my waist line.

Maggie woke up at about 2:15 Sunday morning saying her tummy hurt. As she had come into our room (and bed) whimpering, I quickly got her back to her bed and tried to quietly figure out what was happening.  On a side note....trying to talk quietly with a child who has significant hearing loss is not easy.  She didn't have a fever (believe me after a year + of going thru many fevers I KNOW when she is running a fever).  She told me that she didn't think that she had to throw up but I got her a bucket anyway.  I rubbed her back as she laid there and she seemed fine.  I went back to bed.  About 10 minutes later, she yelled for me and when I got to her she was sitting up, holding the bucket.  She had gotten sick.  I cleaned her up and she went right back to sleep (me, that is another story).  When she woke up at 8 everything was fine - she played all day and kept everything in her tummy just fine...not sure what was the cause of the tummy episode.

I wonder when I will stop looking at her lips to see if her coloring is ok.  That is a sign that the cancer is back - low red blood cells.  We didn't realize at the time of her diagnosis how pale she was until we looked back at pictures.  I wonder if we will ever stop being afraid of her relapsing.

I am struggling thru some schtuff.  Part of it is some residual effects of the stress of battling thru "Maggie's Miracle" and, well, some isn't.  The 2 issues definitely impact each other.  I honestly wish that God would give me a 'breather' but He hasn't.  Or maybe He did and I didn't see it to appreciate it.  I keep trying to figure out all of the lessons that God has for me and sometimes in my own hurt and schtuff it is much harder to weed thru the mess to find the gold nugget.

Probably my biggest problem is that I look at everything with a critical eye - and that eye is most often directed at me.  I am my own biggest and toughest critic.  So this schtuff is seen with an analytical counselors eye.  I can't hide things from myself....it just isn't who I am.  So, I am harsh with myself and that makes the schtuff so much harder to work thru.

So, I find it interesting that Maggie has resumed "normalcy" far easier than I have.