My intense journey into faith began about 2.5 years ago.
Yes, I had been a Christian for over 30 years (man, I am old). But I am talking about faith that means you have to live it out loud. You know, in our daily lives. How, in the world, does that even look?
The many lessons I learned about God and HIS faithfulness....the many lessons I learned about my own faithLESSness.
God showed me recently how I still have much to learn.
Maggie has an IEP or an Individual Education Plan. Every child with issues that impact their ability to learn has an IEP in the public school system. Maggie's primary reason is for hearing and her secondary is for speech.
With learning, this past summer, that Maggie's hearing has gotten worse and that she could lose even more hearing down the road, our hearts sunk and I went into overdrive. I began to seek out all the information that I could to educate us about the needs of the Deaf and Hard of Hearing (DHH) world. The more that I learned - the more overwhelmed I became. This DHH world is (in many many ways) a whole other culture that we as a family need to orient ourselves to.
I've lost Maggie at church. It was after a Wednesday night and the kids and I were on a mission to find Daddy so that they could say goodnight to him before we head home. Daddy usually works late on Wed. nights..... I knew he was in the Worship Center (sanctuary). Mags was walking a half a step in front of me. I said "Lets go this way" and turned - assuming that the kids would follow. Jared did and we walked into the WC. I turned to look for Maggie and she wasn't there! I opened the door that we had just come in and there was no sign of her. A woman in the hall must have discerned the look on my face and asked if I was looking for a little girl and I said yes. She point down a hallway and just then Maggie walked up with a look of pure fear on her face. Even in a familiar place, I could easily lose my daughter.
So when it came time for this IEP meeting, I was determined to be prepared. For at least a week, I was writing down all of my concerns and potential concerns. For example - I wanted to make sure that on a field trip that an adult who was fully aware of Maggie's hearing loss was assigned to her group (preferably Mommy or Daddy). If I could lose her at church which she is very familiar with then .... she could so much more easily get lost going somewhere she is NOT familiar with.
That was just one thing that we wanted discussed. :) For the record, these weren't just my concerns but also Rod's. I just am the loud mouth that gets to voice them. :)
As the IEP approached, I had become more comfortable with her hearing loss. (Read this as I was not freaking out about it as much). God was calming us down, but also the new DHH info was not as over-whelming now.
What I was worried about was becoming a Momma Bear in the meeting if things didn't go the way I hoped. In my previous life (before kids), I had attended many IEPs - so that process didn't phase me. I know that the school has to provide appropriate services for kids with special needs - I just wasn't sure that we would agree on what the appropriate services were. ;) I was afraid that if I became that Momma Bear that I would lose any kind of potential witness that I might have in our town - let alone lose face..... We live in a very small town and really enjoy it overall.
But you know what? God proved Himself faithful all over again. The concerns that I had diminished or were addressed. I am sure that they think I am a paranoid mom for some of them....but that is ok. I know my girl better than they do. ;)
All of this to say....God is faithful in not only BIG things but He wants us to have faith in Him in the day to day crud that we get so worked up over. God still loves to show off HIS faithfulness to US in the day to day stuff that we often forget that He is interested in.
So, Live Big by increasing your faith in the One that is most faithful! :)