Tuesday, August 16, 2011

2+ years

This whole hearing loss issue with Mags has sent me for a loop in many ways.  I am not sure why - I mean - it isn't cancer. 

I think that when we were battling cancer we were so focused on that: "Get those tiny monster cells out of my daughter!  NOW!"  We didn't really think of what the future might/could/would hold.

So I have been trying to find some sign language classes in our area that take kids, that aren't expensive for 4 people and don't end late on a week night.

So Sunday, at church, I went and got my courage up and spoke to the signer and the hearing impaired people that come to our church for the Connection service.  I explained quickly that Maggie has profound hearing loss and that I am trying to have our family learn ASL (sign language) and asked if we could come sit with them sometime so that we could start to learn some of the ASL.  They very graciously (and enthusiastically) said "YES".  Then service started and I skedaddled out of there.  In retrospect, I realized that they didn't understand right away why I ran off - I just didn't want to interrupt their service.

So worship time starts...and one of the songs that we sing is from Hillsong.   I am not sure that I have heard it before.  Here is the song:

Sometime during that service, I realized that once again God will fight this battle for us.  But there was something new as well.  I thanked God for the hearing loss.

Then in my mind and heart I knew that I had to thank him for cancer.  I had been going over Philippians 4 with Jared and that is where most of the message came from that morning.  Phil 4 says that we should give thanks in all things.

I had thanked God many times for many things in the last 2 years.  However, I had never thanked for the cancer.  I know that this might sound strange and it felt strange - but it was something that I knew God wanted me to do.  I cried as I silently thanked God for the hearing loss and for cancer.

I am sure that there are some of you who think I am outright certifiably crazy.  That is OK.  I know that in the midst of the storm I couldn't have ever said thank you and truly meant it.  I serve the powerful God that is full of grace and love for me and my family and He has shown himself to be very faithful - way beyond what we even deserve.

So yes, this hearing loss continues to be a battle for us.  I don't like it.  But God has shown Himself to be faithful  and I have a reason to worship and a reason to sing. 

Maggie has a scan scheduled for Thursday morning.  This will be our first one in 6 months and I am leery even tho she shows no outward signs of relapse.   The fear is still there.   This is our 1.5  year post treatment scan..  As of July she has been 2 years cancer free.  Thank you God!

So, what battle do you need to thank the Lord for?  Even if it is thru gritted teeth? :)


  1. thanks for sharing rach! i will be praying for you guys! it's such an encouragament to know that i'm not alone in my thinking, and this blog did it for me :)

  2. Great post! It reminds me of Corrie Ten Boom and her sister in The Hiding Place and how they choose to thank God for the fleas in the barracks. Later they found out that the fleas were the reason they had limited visits from the guards!

  3. Thanks for the post Rachel. It really hit me with all the things we have been through and r still going through. I needed to hear this post today. Kris Henschen


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